Molding my pain into something else
I went to Earth Center Pottery at Tyler Park Arts Center as a continuation of my efforts to become more of a local, deepening new friendships, as well as to productively move through my grief process (aka: mourn / express, acknowledge & integrate).
The special event I attended was similar one of those paint & sip social events, but with clay, but a bit more loosely structured. How perfect--the night's project was to create a "Memory Box." The participants of the workshop were given very general guidance and were also told, that if we wanted to, we could simply make a vase.
I was a bit nervous in a new environment and around all new people--many of which knew each other already. I tried to refocus my energy & attention on allowing myself to experiment and check-in with how I was feeling inside. Thankfully, I managed to tap into my "playful" mindset and began to imagine and experiment with ideas of what I might like to make.
After 3 hours of heartfelt experimentation and focus on staying connected with my feelings, I was helped by the instructor to make this.
A couple of weeks later, I came back to add finishing touches, and was so engrossed in glazing and painting the details that I accidentally ended up closing out the studio (4 hours later...oops!)
After a couple of weeks more, I was able to come home with this lidded memory box. I enjoy seeing it each morning--with all its 'imperfections' and how it came to be, knowing what it is: a tribute to our Love; a keepsake, complete with hidden details for us.
We mold the moments of our life with whatever actions and attention we will; and the fire of time forges the energy we used into the memory of what remains.
I've realized that creative expression can be a boon beyond my imagination.
There's a sort of transformational magic each time I work through seeing and expressing what's in my heart--acknowledging the pain, the hidden beauty within reveals itself.
In it, I feel connected more deeply to my beloved, to myself and to the present as though I am visiting eternity. I am healed, at peace and loved.