HEALING TAKES TIME & PATIENCE
"How long" and "how intensely" the pain & suffering last varies with each person & situation.
Integrating unwanted changes into your life going forward is a process. ...and it sounds like you're just at the beginning: perhaps still learning which way is up, or maybe feeling nothing but shock and disbelief.
While we can understand wanting to rush through, and maybe even skip, feeling and acknowledging the hurts that naturally come in the aftermath of a devastating loss; your future happiness depends on your healing & overall well-being.
The truth is that healing wounds takes time & patience. "How long" and "how intensely" the pain & suffering last varies with each person & situation. Re-engaging with zeal will come after stabilizing with intentional practice. Here are some resources for you to consider while you're still early on in the process.
INTEGRATION IS A PROCESS
While it might feel too early for you to actively work to ADJUST your life right now, here are some resources that can help support you during this early part of your grief experience
Overall, we advocate seeking one-on-one attention from a mental healthcare professional and/or support groups; and especially when working through a devastating loss.
We believe that healing is part of the integration process, which requires patience, self-compassion, and willingness to acknowledge
"Grief," itself is a normal and natural reaction to loss (death or otherwise). "Mourning" is a fundamental part of the healing process which helps us acknowledge, accept and integrate unwanted changes into our lives.
Look to local grief support programs and therapists to develop your healthy mourning rituals to allow you to work through the painful aftermath.
No two grief experiences are exactly the same because they depend on each person's individual beliefs, attitudes, and actions, as well as the specific relationship (e.g. closeness, dependence, daily life)
Grief is not on a linear timeline of experience and the 5-stages of grief is not only not definitive; it actually was intended to describe the experience of dying and grieving one's own impending death.
It is normal that grief experiences may recur incidentally, particularly triggered during or nearing "special" times (holidays or particular events) throughout the days and years ahead.
centerforloss.com, resources for the psychology-based companioning philosophy to grief care
imaginenj.org, a center for coping with loss geared toward children & families
griefshare.org, a national, faith-based organization with free local meetings
hopesnj.com, a widow/ers support organization with groups across New Jersey
good-grief.org, a center for coping with loss geared toward children & families
As you create the space to do your "mourning grief work" you'll regain a baseline ability to feel the hope, strength, and courage required to move forward and develop an openness to a renewed sense of happiness, enjoyment, peace, and belonging which lie beyond pain.
At ADJUST, we look forward to helping you take steps forward, when you feel that you are up to the task of taking a proactive approach, re-engaging in the possibilities of finding your happily EVEN after (or as some of us call it, "our next-best life") integrating "what is" into the days ahead.